My Obsessions
by Brain in the Gutter
Summary: What happens when a weekend gone wrong leads to things a night of carnal bliss? Will Jasper finally get what he's always been dreaming about? Or will it end the best thing that's ever happened to him? BxJ AU AH


**What happens when a weekend gone wrong leads to things a night of carnal bliss? Will Jasper finally get what he's always been dreaming about? Or will it end the best thing that's ever happened to him? BxJ AU AH**

**Twilight and all it's characters are under the ownership of Ms. Meyers... I don't own.**

**Happy Reading.**

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**My Obsessions**

I glimpsed the panties as Bella tossed them haphazardly into her suitcase. The pink lace, zebra print, and black g-strings that went in were just tempting me to swipe a pair when she wasn't looking. Bella had no idea of my obsession with her panties. _Let's face it, she has no idea of my obsession with her._

"You know he only wants to fuck you," I said, earning a glare at my language. "Fine, he wants to screw your brains out." I was sitting on her bed, watching as she packed for her weekend away with some guy we knew back in high school.

Bella and I had been friends our entire life. Our mothers had been in the same lamaze class together and had struck up a friendship. We were actually born within minutes of each other. Most of our lives had been spent together. With our mothers being best friends, we were constantly over at each other's houses during our childhood. We went to the same school all the way up to high school.

In Kindergarten, Bella had been bitten by the school bully, Edward Cullen. Instead of biting him back, she bit me. My mother had pounded it into my head never to hit a lady, so instead of hitting Bella, I punched Edward Cullen and broke his pretty little nose. The two of us were inseparable from that moment. Our mothers had taken to calling us their little vampires. We still had the "Vampires Only" sign from our tree house posted in the living room of our apartment.

Shortly after the first year of college, neither of us could stand dorm housing any more, so we decided to move in together. We had been living together ever since. Living with Bella was heaven and hell all rolled into one. Because of her bras hanging over the shower door, and her skimpy pj's, I was the master of covering up my hard-ons. I knew she thought I was an asexual type of guy since I never dated, but there was no denying it for me; I was in love with Bella Swan.

She had been my best friend for so long that it was hard to tell when exactly I had gone from loving her as a friend, to loving her as a man loves a woman. It hit me that I was in love with her when Mike Newton asked her to our Senior Prom. I had assumed that we would go together, since we had gone to all the other school dances together. It was a real wake up call to realize that the woman you loved was going with someone else.

My trip down memory lane was interrupted by her sensual voice drawling out my name, "Jasper, I know that's probably what is going to happen, but can't a girl have hope?" Those big brown eyes I always seem to get lost in looked a little watery. _Shit._

"Well, I'm just saying," I said as Bella turned back towards her closet, "Just because he liked you in high school doesn't mean that he loves you now." I watched her barely covered ass sway back and forth as she went digging through the bottom of her closet, probably for her favorite pair of heels. What she didn't know was that they were my favorite pair, too. I liked the way she swung her hips in them, and there was this one skirt that made it so I could just glimpse the bottom curves of her tight ass as the material flipped back and forth. I lived for the days she wore those heels.

"You liked me in high school, and you love me now," she said with a wink as she tossed the found shoes into the suitcase. It hurt every time I said I love you to this woman, because she didn't understand what kind of love that I had for her. She thought we only loved each other in a brother/sister type way, not a completely obsessed, want to protect and keep her all to myself kind of love. This trip she was taking with The Asshole, as I've come to call him, has been killing me little by little.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he's going to love you like I love you." I couldn't stop the bitterness from tinging my voice. "That's a special, you and me thing."

She looked at me hard for a moment, as if trying to see into my soul. "Are you jealous?"

"Hell yeah. That prick's not worth your time!" Her eyes sparkled as she walked over to me and sat on my lap, her arms holding me tight. _Maybe I could finally tell her of my feelings for her. Maybe we could finally..._

She loosened her arms a bit and looked me in the eyes as she said, "Jasper, no one will ever replace you as my friend." _Or maybe not._

"I know that," I said glumly. She tugged on a couple of the long blonde locks that had fallen out of the ponytail. She got off my lap and went back to digging through her dresser drawers for clothes she might have missed. "What are you going there for again?"

"I'm taking pictures of his company's car show. It'll be a chance to expand my portfolio." Bella had been working as a free lance photographer on weekends to supplement her income.

"Make sure you take pictures of any 40's Lincoln Continentals if you see them." I reminded her, knowing she would take pictures of a car I loved almost as much as her.

"I will. Oh, I can't forget this!" she said as she pulled a small red bag from the back of a drawer in her dresser.

"What is that?"

"Lingerie," she said with a saucy wink.

I was infinitely glad that I had a firm grip on the pillow in my lap as the raging hard on became painful. The images of Bella in different types of lingerie laid out across my bed were completely taking over my brain. When it became possible for me to move without seriously injuring myself, I got up and headed to my own room, "Uh, I'm going to let you finish packing."

"Ah, come on Jasper, it's just a little piece of lace and straps. Nothing to be uncomfortable about." I shuddered as the things I imagined got smaller and smaller.

"I'm just in your way. Text me when you land?" I asked as I made my way out the door.

I paused as I felt her arms wrap around me, her soft breasts pressing into my back. "Thanks, Jasper. I love you."

"I love you, too, babe." She let me go, and I made my escape back to my room where I could jack off in peace to the images of Bella in skimpy lingerie.

The weekend passed in tense silence for me. Bella texted me a couple of times to let me know where and what she was up to. I cracked up when she told me that The Asshole had fucked up their car reservations. The text messages got shorter and shorter, and I could feel the stress that she had building up seep through the terse messages.

It wasn't until Sunday night when the tension built to it's snapping point with one message.

_**SOS. Pick me up at Burbank airport in an hour, please. -B.**_

_Huh?_ The plan was supposed to be that they fly back into LAX. In fact, when I received the message, she was due home. I couldn't help but worry about what could have possibly happened. If he had hurt her, I would put my fist through his face.

The forlorn look on her face ripped a chunk out of my heart as I pulled up to the curb. I stopped in the loading zone and hopped out of my truck, quickly hugging her and grabbing her bag. Her silence was unnatural as I got her in the front seat. She hadn't buckled her seatbelt by the time I got behind the driver's seat, so I reached over her to get it done. The drive home was silent for the most part. She was staring out the window, trying to hide the tears that I could see leaking out the corner of her eyes. I knew that she would eventually tell me what happened when she was ready, so I didn't push it, and quickly switched on the radio, letting the music fill the tense silence.

When we got home, I grabbed her bag and helped her out of the truck. I put her bag in her room and she hugged me silently for a moment before letting me go and shutting the door.

The tense silence stayed in our apartment for days, cloying at my sanity as Bella continued to hole up in her room, leaving only to go to work. She was barely eating when she was home and I doubted she was eating much more while out of the house. I was unsure of what to do about the situation. I was almost at the point where I was going to call our mothers to ask if they knew what was going on, but not quite yet. If she continued with this for another week, I knew I would have to take that drastic step.

Saturday the damn broke. The pizza I had ordered had just been delivered, Bella's favorite, black olive, mushroom, and sausage. "I got pizza if you want it." I said, after knocking on her door.

To my surprise her door opened, and she walked out. "Papa John's? Garlic sauce?"

"Of course, is there any other?" I smiled at her, getting a smile back in response. It was weak, but hey, it was some sort of reaction, rather than the mask of nothingness that had been parked over her lovely features this last week.

We were halfway through the pizza, when she bust out with, "Fuck, Jasper, I need to get drunk. Do we still have that vodka from the last party we had?"

"Yeah, dirty martinis?" I asked, knowing she only drank them when she wanted to get good and sloshed.

"You know it. Make mine slutty, though. I'm in that kind of a mood." She was apparently in a drinking mood if that was what she wanted.

She was halfway through her fifth martini, I was on my third, and we were about to start a new movie, when she broke down and told me what had happened. The entire weekend had been a mess. The Asshole wouldn't listen to her at all about any helpful suggestions she had made. The whole problem with the rental car could have been resolved if they had asked someone about it at the airport and not spent an extra $200 on a different car rental.

He had offered to pay for the whole trip, but it started making her feel like shit to keep accepting what he offered when things kept getting more and more expensive. Apparently, Saturday night he wanted to go to this one restaurant, however when Bella saw how expensive it was she suggested that they try somewhere else. But he had to eat there, and to make matters worse, he complained about everything he ordered. In the end, his obvious displeasure was rubbing off on their entire experience.

He got sick during the middle of the trip, so he ended up being grumpy and rude to her. She was scared of his reactions half the time and was wondering what kind of mood swings were going to be happening on a daily basis.

"He threatened to hit me, Jasper." _WHAT? No one threatens my girl._ "Well, I'm sure he meant it jokingly, but it didn't really sound like it at the time."

"What did he say exactly?" I asked tersely, glad she was too drunk at this point to realize the tension snapping the muscles in my jaw.

"He said, that if I apologized one more time, he was going to hit me." Ah, that makes a little bit of sense. My girl had a habit of saying I'm sorry. It was like her filler when she didn't know what to say. Most of the time she said it when she just meant that she sympathized with someone, not that she had done anything wrong. When she was in the wrong, she said she apologized for it, she never said she was sorry. I always knew the difference between the two because I was used to her weird idiosyncrasies. But still, the bastard should have never threatened to hit her.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Nothing, I wasn't about to say, 'I'm sorry,' again." She giggled a bit and sloshed the last of the martini all over her sweats. "Jasper, I'm a mess. Help me clean up?"

"Sure, babe. Let's get you to the shower." I said as I helped her into her bathroom. I tried not to look at her sexy body as she stripped down right in front of me. The water was turned on and I found that as my clue to head out. I walked down to my room, waking my computer from sleep, but leaving the door open in case Bella needed anything from me.

Twenty minutes later, I heard the shower turn off and just barely stopped myself from visualizing her damp and sexy from the bath. Her skin pink and glistening from those _too_ hot showers she loves to take, looking like she'd been thoroughly fucked. I forced myself to answer some emails and think about anything but what she would look like while I took her up against the wall of her shower.

I was taken completely by surprise when the door to her room opened since I was fully expecting her to go to bed after her shower. The soft sounds of her footsteps as she walked down the hall, her voice proceeding her through my open door, "And you know what the worst thing was? I never got to wear this."

_FUCK ME SIDEWAYS_. I think my brain took a complete vacation as Bella stepped through the door wearing the skimpiest lingerie I had ever seen. There was no way I was going to be able to attempt to hide the erection I was sporting at the vision before me. The black bra she was wearing attempted to cover her nipples, and the see through thong rode low on her hips and left nothing to the imagination. The thigh high stockings and skimpy garter belt only drew my attention to what the thong made no attempts to conceal.

I looked at her feet and groaned, she's wearing _the shoes_. Her fuck me pumps. Those shoes had been the bane of my existence. Whenever she was feeling horny, she would wear those shoes out with whatever current asswipe she was dating, certain that they would never cease to give her what she wanted. And she would come home smiling on those nights. I almost threw them out one time when she was out of the apartment, but couldn't quite get the nerve up to do it. And she was wearing them for _me_.

"You would want to fuck me if I was wearing this, right?" she asked as I tried to come up with a response that wouldn't make her hate me in the morning.

"Hell yes!" _Oops. Filter! Find the god-damned filter, jackass!_

"Good." With that, she turned to walk out of the room.

_Man up, jackass._ I couldn't stop myself as I grabbed her arm and turned her back around to face me. Her soft breasts pressed against my chest as I crowded her into the wall, her eyes round with shock.

"You can't just do that to me, honey; not without reaping some _repercussions_," I drawled as I leaned down and paused right before touching my lips to hers. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking for permission to do what I had wanted to do for most of my life. Her arms went around my neck, pulling me the rest of the way down to her and I tasted heaven for the first time. It was everything and more than what I had hoped it would be.

The kiss turned carnal as her tongue swept inside mine and she buried her fingers in my hair at the back of my head, pulling it out of the ponytail. I pulled her even closer to me, mashing her breasts against my chest. My right hand skimmed along her ribs and down to her hip. I fiddled with the waistband of her panties, following it around to the back. Her breathy moans nearly distracted me as I cupped her ass. That right there was what I lived for. In that moment, nothing was as important as making her moan, whimper, and shake. I wanted to hear more. I wanted to see more.

I took over the pace of the kiss as my knee went between hers. I could feel the heat of her center through my jeans. She whimpered as she started to grind herself against me. I pulled her higher up on my thigh and she went up on her tiptoes, holding me tighter.

She whimpered in disappointment as my mouth left hers, but quickly started groaning as I trailed kisses along her neck. As I made my way further down her body, my left hand went to her back. I deftly unsnapped the barely there bra, and it fell away just as my mouth made it to just above her nipple. I kissed and licked around the nipple, wringing out more whimpers and groans, teasing her unmercifully. When I finally took that pert little nub into my mouth, she gasped and pulled my hair so hard I nearly saw black.

She lifted her leg and wrapped it around my hips, grinding herself on me even more. When I lightly bit down on her poor, abused nipple, she wrapped the other leg around me, using the wall behind her for leverage. _Bed, jackass, get on the bed before you blow it right here_.

I turned us and walked to the bed, snapping the tiny string that went between her legs, attempting to shield her femininity from me. I laid her down on my bed, licked her previously ignored nipple, and plunged two fingers into her soaking pussy.

"Oh my _god_, Jasper. Why aren't you naked?" she barely managed to say before I pulled my fingers out and pushed them back in, circling her clit with my thumb. Her back arched and her hips bucked up into me as I started thrusting repeatedly, nibbling a bit on her nipple. She groaned louder as I set up a rhythm, arching my fingers a bit at the end trying to catch that little bundle of nerves.

Her breaths came in heavy pants as she writhed on my fingers. I could feel the muscles of her walls clamping down on my fingers and quickly looked up to watch as she fell apart in my arms. Her voice low and husky as she groaned my name out as I kept thrusting, trying to keep her orgasm going for as long as she could take it.

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she took a deep breath, then looked me up and down. "This won't do." My heart faltered momentarily. It started beating again as she reached for the hem of my shirt, pushing it up and over my head. Her nimble fingers made quick work of the buttons on my jeans and shucked them off me.

She pulled me down onto the bed and quickly straddled me. Her lips met mine once again, and I pulled her tight against me, her wet heat stroking along my cock. Our tongues tangled as we continued to grind against each other, almost, but not quite getting enough friction to do us any good. Her lips wandered along my cheek bone, nibbling a bit on my earlobe before whispering in my ear, "Mmm... I've always wanted to do this."

"What, baby?" I asked my accent heavy in my own ears.

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy," she said as she lifted her hips to slip my dick into her heated sheath. Her eyes were screwed shut as she paused for a moment, fully seated on my cock. It was good that she paused, too, because it gave me a moment to catch my breath as the heated sensation had my balls in it's satiny grip.

I watched the sensations flickering across her face as she slowly started to ride my cock. I flicked her nipples a few times, earning a gasp from her as she ground harder against me. She continued to rise and fall, pulling herself off me more and more, until just the tip was still seated in her blessed warmth.

After she had plunged down on me a few more times, I couldn't stand it any more. I flipped her over on her back, threw her leg up over my hip, and started thrusting into her. Her gasps and moans weren't quite there, so I circled her clit with my thumb, ratcheting up the tension in her. The tip of her 'fuck me pumps' were dug into my ass as I continued to pound into her, throwing her other leg up over my shoulder and riding her hard. Her hips met mine as I leaned down and nibbled on her neck, biting down and shoving her off the edge into oblivion. I followed soon after, the clenching of her muscles milking me into release.

I pulled off what was left of her lingerie, got into bed beside her, pulled her into my arms, and fell asleep.

I woke up with a smile on my face, which was quickly erased when I realized I was in an empty bed. Where she had been sleeping was still warm so she couldn't have gotten far. I grabbed the jeans off the floor and stepped into them before walking out to find Bella. My heart shattered as I saw her fully dressed, headed for the front door. She must have seen some movement out of the corner of her eye as she turned to me and muttered a, "Fuck."

_Oh, hell no._ "What the fuck, Bella? You're just going to use me to get over your horrible weekend, and then sneak out of the house like you did something wrong?" I yelled, unable to control my anger at how horribly wrong this turned out to be.

"I just thought it would be easier this way, Jasper," she said as tears shimmered in her eyes.

"Easier for who?" I asked. "You or me? You're not even going to talk to me about it? Just run away?"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't have the emotional fortitude to deal with this right now," she said snidely.

"So I'm good enough to fuck, but not good enough to have any emotional ties to?" I asked anger still riding me.

"No, that's not it at all," she said.

"Then why?" I asked.

"Why, what?" she asked.

"Why are you sneaking out this morning?" I asked.

"What does it matter, Jasper?" she asked a sense of hopelessness in her voice.

"I want to know. Why are you sneaking out?"

"It's none of your business."

"I'm the one you just fucked, and it's none of my business? What next, you're going to go fuck some random stranger?" Anger was still leaking out through my words.

"Just let it go," she pleaded.

"No, I want to know. Why?"

Silence sat heavily in the room.

"WHY?" I shouted at her across the living room.

"Because I love you!" _Huh?_ "I love you and I just fucked everything up."

I was so stunned I had no idea what to say.

"Nothing I've ever done to try and get you to see me as a woman and not your best friend, has ever worked before." she continued, the tears rolling down her cheeks, "Not the skimpy outfits, not going out with guys you hate. Nothing. And one night of drunken stupidity apparently isn't going to change that. I couldn't stand to go back to this being best friends thing without time to sort it out in my head."

_Whoa_. "You _want_ me?" I just had to ask.

"Yes, and now that I've completely ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me. Can I leave in peace, now?" There was a defeated slump to her shoulders that I didn't ever want to see again.

"No," I said.

"Huh? Why not?" she asked.

"Cause I want to fuck you in every room in this apartment," I said with a grin.

"Wait, back up, what?" she asked.

"I've been in love with you since the eleventh grade. I want to fill every fantasy I've had about you since then."

"Umm... I've got you beat. I've been in love with you since Fifth," She said as a small smile graced her lips.

"Come here," I said as I opened up my arms to her. I caught her as she threw herself into my arms and she was finally right where she belonged.

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**A/N: Special thanks goes to ****dutchessdeedee and Maired75 from Project Team Beta, they were the ones to make me sound intelligent in this little fic.**

**To my own personal Asshole, I know that you were expecting me to write a much different story than what I did. But after some long hard thinking on things, I decided that I really couldn't write you as anything but the protagonist... **_**I'm sorry... ***_**author rolls eyes and mutters 'jackass'***

**Alright peeps, my regular beta (the great Pire) is temporarily unavailable, and I'm in need of someone to help me out with some beta'ing work. I need someone to bounce ideas off of for a multi chapter fic that I'm in the process of outlining. I have one chapter done but would like to get a couple chapters done before I start posting. A lot of it is not set in stone and will gladly take any ideas into consideration. Please PM me if you are interested in it at all. **

**Review! **


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